Trashy Thursday

Emo hear me roar

Emo hear me roar

All my life I’ve come across as miss goody two shoes.  I’m 45 trust me I know things.  I’ve seen things.  I’ve even done things Miss Goody Goody wouldn’t do or wouldn’t she?   And I wouldn’t change a thing.

After high school I married and had three wonderful kids.  I thought I was happy until I started meeting people on bulletin boards.  If you had a computer and modem in the 90’s trust me you were on a bulletin board service.   I worked and tried to raise three kids and take care of my husbands needs.   One day I realized, as I went to a GT (Get Together), that there were people younger and older than me having a lot of fun and raising their kids.    Then I met my current husband and I made some choices that weren’t necessarily  best ones but they were my choices to make.  Leaving my ex-husband was the right choice and I don’t regret it.  Other things I did weren’t the right choice to make but I still wouldn’t go back and change anything, because I did the best I could.

In the 90’s, I saw my first x-rated movie.  I’m not telling which one but it had a clown in it so I thought it was a comedy and still do to this day.  I found out the meaning of S & M, and saw a live show.  Also found out I’m not interested in that kind of thing either.   I had my first attempt at a three way, no that didn’t work either.  To this day I still have no interest in it, so don’t bother asking.   All the while trying to still help raise my three kids.  Their dad did the best he could and I thank him for his part in their lives.  I also moved in with my current husband and lived with him without being married.  I was divorced and married again in the 90’s.   I found out I like hockey, though if you see me on the jumbotron at a RoadRunners game you wouldn’t think so.   I found out I have very expensive food taste, I love sushi and caviar and Belgium beer.  Damn it now I would like a nice Philly roll and some caviar.   (note to self don’t blog about food)  I also found the love of my life even if he doesn’t always do what I say.  I experienced grieving for the first time, my mother died.  I still miss her.

Now, from 2000 to this year I’ve experienced even more things that I thought I never would.   I have friends that love me for who I am and don’t care about what size I am.  I’m not ashamed to say, I’m a BBW (Big Beautiful Woman) and try to support our community as much as I can.   Here some things I’m proud of.  I have gone Chunky Dunking (skinny dipping for those skinny people reading).  I’ve done it several times, don’t knock until you’ve tried it.  It is a very freeing experience.   I’ve had tasteful nude photos taken of me twice, another liberating experience for me, only good friends are allowed to see those per my husband.   I’ve had sex in a hot tub, I won’t say who’s.   They don’t need to know.  Trust me the chemicals you put in them kills everything.

So, my question is what are the things you’ve wished to experience but haven’t and why not?  How would I know what I do and don’t like if I didn’t at least experience it on some level?  In order to enjoy life you have to live it.  I hope to experience more this weekend with my husband.

And how did I come to create this blog, when I thought of this.  You have one picture of yourself  on Flickr with whipped cream and everyone now wants to be your friend.  It’s not part of my flickr pics it’s on a friends who took the pic and only viewable to her close personal friends.  Great, now I realize it’s probably on some porn site.


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