Saturday! The Big Day!

Later today, I hope to be making my debut in the area of improv comedy.  Of course to me this will be more of an inside joke to those of us participating.  There are a few things I fear and one of them could happen today.  I could be arrested not for public indecency but for disruption of the light rail system.  On December 27, 2008, Light Rail started running in Phoenix.  So this is a whole new experience for Phoenix area residence.

Sean and I will be going downtown, at one of the museums,  for the Star Trek Experience at 11am. Didn’t really know about it until recently.  Tells you how much I stay on top of sci-fi here in town or really anywhere.   And then participating in the light rail phenomenon known as No Pants Day! or for those who live outside the US, No Trousers Day!  I will be wearing undies.  I just haven’t figured out which ones.

I’m putting so much thought into this that I want the top half of me to just say “My Gawd, She’s beautiful, WTF where’s her pants if they pan down that far.   I’m definitely going to be wearing my boots I bought in the fall, and I’m think I’ll wear a skirt.  Makes it easier to put on and take off and a long shirt to cover my ass.

My current decision is trying to decide if I want to be funny and wear Spanx, because I have a pair or if I should wear my torrid frilly undies.  They are black and totally cute. But really not all that comfortable,  I didn’t buy them to wear outside of my house.  If you get what I mean.

I have a feeling if we are arrested it will really just be one of those things where they put you in cuffs process you and then release you to ride the rails back home.  Or Arpaio’s group could arrest us and ban us from riding the rails for life and my picture is plastered on some post office wall stating this person is to never get on the light rails again.  Hey, I don’t know what to expect so I think I will take my iPod and my knitting to keep me company.  With my target bag that claims I hug trees.  Yeah who would want to arrest someone that loves to hug trees and wear frilly underwear.

Maybe now I can go back to sleep.


Comfort Zone

So this Saturday, January 10th, I’ve somewhat volunteered myself to do something outside of my comfort zone.  I want to participate in Phoenix’s first No Pants Day! on the light rail,   As I’ve grown older I’ve grown accustom to closing myself off to not only strangers but to family and friends.  I don’t know why it happened but it has.  Participating in this event actually will make me vulnerable to everyone.   Sean’s not talking to me much about it so I’m guessing he does not want to participate but won’t tell me no.

I think a lot of it has to do with insecurity about my looks and how much I weigh.  If you ask me how much I weigh I’ll tell you, while I’m insecure about it I’m not ashamed of it.   How can I be ashamed of something that I  helped create?  It is after all my security blanket.   I don’t have to worry about the compliments, like Crystal you look hot! Well okay, my wonderful husband tells me that and well I like it when he does.   No sudden honking of horns when I walk down the street.   Some of my friends, who are absolutely beautiful talk about the stares and comments, I guess I tune them out because a strangers opinion of me doesn’t matter.  It’s what I think of myself.

As I’ve grown older I’ve taken myself out of my comfort zone a couple of times but I don’t do it very often.   It’s just easier to stay safe and warm inside myself and not let anyone in.

When my mother was a live she started doing things I would have never done in my 20’s in her 40’s.  I’m thinking I’m doing it as a tribute to her and realizing that sometimes taking a risk gives us the freedom to do other things that we wouldn’t do otherwise.

My husband the human social butterfly seems to have no problem dancing at hockey games, saying what comes to mind without the forethought to consider he may offend someone, while you are lucky to catch me dancing and singing inside my own house.   What happens to us as we grow older we no longer dance and sing like we did as kids.  I remember once at around the age of nine telling a family friend that I sang better than (great I’m really going to date myself) Tanya Tucker and I would sing Delta Dawn at the top of my lungs.   That song is still a favorite and now I actually know what the song means.

This week, I challenge everyone to do one  thing that takes them out of their comfort zone.  Eat lunch or see a movie by yourself maybe sing at the top of your lungs and don’t listen to what anyone says around you. You may find you actually have fun doing it.  Just find something simple that makes you somewhat uncomfortable and see if you can push yourself just little bit outside of it.

Happy Wednesday!  I’ll let you know if I stray out of my comfort zone on Saturday with the No Pants Day!  So stay tuned.